AnnStudiess

I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own - Viva la Vida - Coldplay A king desperately sobbed in repressed tears and called in vain for what used to be his. A hopeless tear was for what he had dreamt of, but the reality woke him up, enlightening him on how useless and powerless he was now.  Students who were known to be top and excellent ones now accept their fates to be the grassroots. All their ambitious dreams are buried in something called reality. The pain does not hit them, but it gently and softly kills them, letting them know how unrealistic they were. Maybe, they are the real reflections of the kings who were delusional about their imaginative kingdoms.  In the middle of somewhere and someday, the sobbing sound of an entitled king whose dream was building his own kingdom. Now, he is looking at someone's life, which he thinks should have been his. A lifetime of more than a decade has ...

You keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence And it smells like me A random story from a random person messes up my head.  The volatility of love made him inebriated. The emotion was like a wave returning; her silhouette lingered; and he was intoxicated. The ache was excruciating, and his heart yearned for her touch and voice. A message was enough to murder him quietly. One tear fell, and his pillow was the most convincing proof of how much he craved to be the chosen one. This love still plagued him, and the warmth of her hug lived on in his imagination. "Please don't cry," he said, knowing his heart was in misery, even if her grief was only an illusion. "Let me wipe your tears," he begged, frantically hoping for the so-called ability that would transport him to her. He lowered his head, burying himself in the ugly scar, drowning in her embrace, wishing for a similar emotion in another girl. His tears ricochet, revealing...

I AM SCARED Despite being protected under the wings of caring and sympathetic parents, I grew a strong self-despite in my heart. I sometimes feel guilty and ashamed of myself. The discomfiture is like a distorting and cunny mirror, whispering to my ears about how bad I am.  Were a wish to be true, I would turn into someone else, not me. I am greedy for others' success. The greediness has been watered and nurtured by my insecurity and peer pressure. I am scared of social media, where all of my faults and weaknesses are self-realized. The brighter their victories are, the more normal I am.  A post is more than a battle. I am in a dead-or-alive fight with my self-preservation. I hide all of my achievements as they are seen as so small and minor to me. Posting them is like an act of a pick-me girl. A sense of guilt is flooded whenever I let myself watch a long movie or play a game. The exhaustion of my physical body makes me thrilled in my deep psyche. What a psycho I am!! I am pr...

A dream came, knocked on the door, came in without permission, locked the door, and crawled to my bed while I was numb, staring at my soul, forcing myself to wake up in a vain attempt. It has been a long time since I had my last dream. I guess all of my peaceful sleep was attributed to my wrenchingly tiring days. Lately, my family has been trapped in a nontemporal cage in which all the members have been unfailingly emotionally exhausted. I imagined all of us rested and laid back in a locomotive with the lingering odor of a cafe machine. The constant and repetitive sound of engines has shaken our feeling of desperately and nervously hovering, waiting for an unknown answer.  Here it comes, a tunnel fuels my restrained haunting nightmare with its seemingly infinitive darkness. It seems like no end and the weird fear of being confined strangles me gently and tightly. My heart is bouncing and all the sounds, even the tick-tock of the clock, are exaggerated when a hand reaches and grappl...

 "DISCIPLINE CAN TAKE YOU PLACES MOTIVATION CANT" Today is a gloomy day, for sure. I made a huge mistake but instead of crying like the other times, I only sat still and felt guiltless, which is supposed to be positive as I was able to restrain my negativity and the toxic thrill of blaming myself. However, this weird ignorance is even scarier.  I am scared of myself being accustomed to failure, and the scenario of me feeling contented and fine with my inferiority literally freaks me out. In the past, I was a pessimistic and negative person who constantly felt insecure about my own achievements and appearance. The current version of me differs: a girl running away from reality and establishing her own delusional shelter. I do not know if my ignorance is the result of my maturity or the consequence of my laziness. Many people tell me that growing up means you do not blame yourself or regret what you have done, you would rather focus on fixing the mistakes. And I hope this is my...

 "I HATE MY VOICE". This idea has only come to my mind since I started learning English.  I am a girl with a high voice so I have acknowledged that my voice does not sound pleasant at all but still, luckily, it is not sour. However, as an English learner, I die to have a low voice with attractive intonation. Whenever I listen to someone with a beautiful voice, I feel so jealous. Therefore, unless changing my voice is biologically impossible, I will try every single way to make myself sound good and this challenge is for me and those wishing to sound better. Shadowing is so famous among English learners as it is a way to practice speaking in general and intonation in specific. This challenge lasts 3 months from February and May so I hope that there are some changes in my voice, even just a slight one.  Honestly speaking, shadowing is quite a daunting task since you have to listen to one sentence a thousand times and imitate it, and the tedious process is repeated a few tim...