AnnStudiess

A dream came, knocked on the door, came in without permission, locked the door, and crawled to my bed while I was numb, staring at my soul, forcing myself to wake up in a vain attempt. It has been a long time since I had my last dream. I guess all of my peaceful sleep was attributed to my wrenchingly tiring days. Lately, my family has been trapped in a nontemporal cage in which all the members have been unfailingly emotionally exhausted. I imagined all of us rested and laid back in a locomotive with the lingering odor of a cafe machine. The constant and repetitive sound of engines has shaken our feeling of desperately and nervously hovering, waiting for an unknown answer.  Here it comes, a tunnel fuels my restrained haunting nightmare with its seemingly infinitive darkness. It seems like no end and the weird fear of being confined strangles me gently and tightly. My heart is bouncing and all the sounds, even the tick-tock of the clock, are exaggerated when a hand reaches and grappl...

 "DISCIPLINE CAN TAKE YOU PLACES MOTIVATION CANT" Today is a gloomy day, for sure. I made a huge mistake but instead of crying like the other times, I only sat still and felt guiltless, which is supposed to be positive as I was able to restrain my negativity and the toxic thrill of blaming myself. However, this weird ignorance is even scarier.  I am scared of myself being accustomed to failure, and the scenario of me feeling contented and fine with my inferiority literally freaks me out. In the past, I was a pessimistic and negative person who constantly felt insecure about my own achievements and appearance. The current version of me differs: a girl running away from reality and establishing her own delusional shelter. I do not know if my ignorance is the result of my maturity or the consequence of my laziness. Many people tell me that growing up means you do not blame yourself or regret what you have done, you would rather focus on fixing the mistakes. And I hope this is my...